Billy Joel, the legendary “Piano Man,” has spent decades crafting hit after hit—yet his latest HBO documentary And So It Goes reveals a hidden side, one filled with heartbreak, guilt, and a decision that nearly ended his life.
From Star to Staggering Guilt
In the early 1970s, just before his meteoric rise, Billy Joel was a struggling musician trying to find his voice. At the time, he played in a heavy rock duo called Attila with drummer Jon Small. But what happened offstage changed everything: Billy began an affair with Jon’s wife, Elizabeth Weber.
The fallout was brutal. The friendship dissolved, the band ended, and Joel was consumed with guilt.
“I felt like a homewrecker,” he says in the documentary. Alone, ashamed, and unable to face himself, he withdrew from public life. At one point, Joel was reportedly sleeping in a laundromat and bouncing between couches, barely surviving.
Two Suicide Attempts
Joel reveals that the pain and shame became unbearable. He attempted suicide twice.
The first time, he took a large number of sleeping pills — enough to send him into a coma. He was discovered unconscious and rushed to the hospital, where he eventually regained consciousness.
But the darkness wasn’t gone. Not long after, he tried again — this time ingesting lemon-scented furniture polish. Again, he survived, thanks to a timely intervention from Jon Small, the same friend he had betrayed. Ironically, it was the person he had hurt the most who helped save him.
This sequence of events is not fiction. Joel shares the details openly in And So It Goes, confirming what fans had only guessed over the years. His honesty is raw, his voice steady but emotional.
Turning Trauma Into Music
After his second brush with death, Joel spent time under psychiatric observation. During this period, he realized something that would shape the rest of his life:
“I thought, you can use all those emotions — all that pain — and turn it into music.”
From that dark place came light. Billy Joel began writing some of the most heartfelt songs of his career, many of which would go on to define his legacy.
One of the most powerful examples is “You’re Only Human (Second Wind)”, a song released in 1985. Written specifically to help young people struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide, it’s a personal message of hope — and a reflection of Joel’s own past.
The song’s royalties were donated to suicide prevention charities.
A Daughter’s Surprise
Joel’s family, including his daughter Alexa Ray Joel, watched the documentary with him. Alexa, now an accomplished singer in her own right, admitted she had never known the full extent of her father’s pain.
She called the documentary “a beautiful heartbreak,” saying she saw a different side of the man the world only knew as an icon.
It wasn’t easy for her, or for anyone close to him. But the honesty was healing.
Why Now?
So why is Billy Joel revealing all of this now?
In recent months, the singer has been facing another challenge: a diagnosis of Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus (NPH), a brain condition that affects balance, memory, and coordination. Joel recently postponed all of his tour dates to focus on treatment and recovery.
The timing of the documentary release — combined with his public health struggles — created a moment of reflection. For the first time in decades, Joel is stepping out from behind the piano and telling the world not just who he is — but who he was.
He made one request to the directors of the documentary: “Tell the truth.”
And so they did.
The Bigger Picture
Joel’s revelations come at a time when mental health and vulnerability are finally receiving the attention they deserve. In sharing his story, he’s not only healing himself — he’s offering hope to others.
He reminds us that even those who seem to have it all can suffer deeply.
And he proves that recovery is always possible — even when it feels impossible.
What’s Next?
Though his touring future remains uncertain, Joel is still active creatively. He’s writing, supporting younger artists, and staying close to his family. Fans have expressed overwhelming support online, with thousands sharing their own stories of struggle and survival.
His documentary has sparked conversations across the music world — not about the charts, but about courage.
Billy Joel isn’t just a rock star. He’s living proof that hitting bottom isn’t the end of the story. Sometimes, it’s where the music really begins.